A Problem with Pinkie Pie
by Josh Spicer
Summary: Rated G/Kplus  Pinkie Pie seems intent on helping Twilight, but it soon turns philosophical when Pinkie talks about her feelings. When Pinkie makes a mess in the library, it leaves Twilight confused about her own feelings. Oneshot


**A/N – Yesterday I posted my first My Little Pony fic and decided to take a stroll through the MLP section. I was seriously disappointed by the majority of murder fics. I'm sorry, but in a series as cute as MLP, seeing somebody go out and kill everybody sort of kills (pun intended) the whole My Little Pony shtick.**

**So yeah, disappointment.**

**Review Response – In response to a review in my previous story: I made everybody lesbians because I've noticed a severe lack of any male who's a main character with the exception of Big Macintosh and Spike. All the other male characters are either background characters or unimportant, with the apparent exception of Doctor Hooves, who I think is a male, but I really don't care either way. So there you go.**

**Title – A Problem with Pinkie Pie**

**Rating – Rated G/K+ for Mild Violence and References to Certain "Things"**

**Summary – Pinkie Pie seems intent on helping Twilight, but it soon turns philosophical when Pinkie talks about her feelings. When Pinkie makes a mess in the library, it leaves Twilight confused about her **_**own**_ **feelings. Will something spurn, or are these ponies destined for disappointment?**

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It was another normal day in Ponyville. Rainbow Dash was in the sky, training so that one day she could join the Wonderbolts She had asked Fluttershy to join in helping her, so that's where she was. Applejack was _still_ buckin' those apples off them trees, working as hard as she ever has. Rarity was at her home, working on a difficult order given upon her by a famed, albeit picky fashionista.

Of the pony friends, Pinkie was the only one intent on having some fun, as usual. Rainbow and Fluttershy were busy training, Applejack was too focused to notice Pinkie, and Rarity booted her out after an incident with the dress she'd rather not get into, Pinkie had decided to try out Twilight.

Ever since the previous incident at Rarity's house, one that involved Rainbow and Fluttershy revealing their feelings for each other, Pinkie seemed intent more than ever to get Twilight to do the same to her. When she first came to town, Pinkie always found her interesting in a way she couldn't quite understand, but when Rarity revealed the town's love life, she realized what it was. And although she _still_ didn't quite understand it, she wanted to ask Twilight if she felt the same.

So here she was, in front of the library, ready to set her confusion straight.

She knocked a hoof on the wooden door and waited for an answer. Twilight opened the door, books stacked high on her back.

"Oh, hey Pinkie," she said.

"Watcha doin?" Pinkie said, turning her head to get a view inside.

"Oh, just fixing the library after _Spike_ knocked everything down…_again_," Twilight said.

Spike moved himself in the view of the door to get his two cents in. He was also holding books in his hands.

"I said I was sorry," he said.

With that one line, he walked out of Pinkie's line of vision.

"Ooh…sounds like fun can I help?" Pinkie asked.

Twilight backed up a bit, almost like she was questioning the request.

"Uhh…uhh," she said.

She looked over to Spike, now on a ladder, books on his head, who shrugged.

"Sure, Pinky," Twilight said.

She turned back to Pinky, but she was gone.

"Ummm…"

"Ooh…what's this one?" Pinky asked.

She threw that book down and went over to open a different one.

"Ooh…what's _this_ one?" she asked.

For a second time, she threw the book away and picked a different one up.

"Ooh…how about _this_ one?"

Twilight stopped her from throwing another book via a hoof in her mouth.

"Pinkie!"

She sighed and took the hoof out.

"Look, Pinkie, you can help me, alright? Helping does not constitute throwing the books around. You can refer to the catalog on the table if you need help placing a book somewhere," Twilight said.

Pinkie stood still and stared at Twilight, turning her head a bit and raising an eyebrow. But soon after, she got straight and jumped a bit.

"Ookaay," she said.

With that, she rushed off to some books. For the next minute, she helped Twilight and Spike in silence. After that minute had passed, Pinkie began to speak.

"So…Twilight, I was wondering if you'd know about some feelings I'm feeling, I'm not sure what it is, but it seems almost…funny. And whenever I'm near a girl pony, this feeling makes itself known, but _especially _whenever I'm near you!"

Through the whole dialogue, Twilight was keeping to herself and just helping the books where she could. She had climbed a ladder when Pinkie got to the last sentence, Twilight's eyes got wide. Rather surprised by this reveal, she fell backwards off the ladder, landing in the comfort of a bunch of books.

"Ow…"

"Now you know how I feel," Spike said from a nearby pile of books.

"So, Twilight, do _you_ know what it is?" Pinkie asked.

Twilight got out of the books and brushed herself off. She trotted over to Pinkie, scratching the back of her head.

"Um, Pinkie…do you know about…um…how do I put this…'The Talk'?" Twilight asked.

Pinkie looked at Pinkie, twisting her head again and raising her eyebrow.

"I know of _sooome _talks. Like Rainbow and Fluttershy had a talk the other day in Rarity's shop about 'liking' somebody and how they 'love' each other or something…"

Twilight's eyes get wide once more.

"…and how everybody in town 'likes' other girl ponies, with the exception of Rarity, Applejack, and Derpy Hooves, but other than that…not really…"

She then smiles at Twilight, completely inconspicuous to the fact that that was pretty much "The Talk."

"Um…that pretty much covered it," Twilight said nervously.

She fake smiled at Pinkie before clearing her throat and speaking in her teacher voice.

"Pinkie…the emotion is called love," Twilight began to say.

Over in the other pile of books, Spike began to laugh at this, earning a glare from Twilight.

"Love…" Twilight said, blushing along the way. "…is an emotion you get when you feel…something funny, much like what you're feeling, and it only comes along when you find somebody…special?"

She said the last bit while looking over at Spike. All he did was shrug and continue working.

"For example, Spike loves Rarity, who doesn't love him back," Twilight said.

This earned her a book to the back of the head. She looked back over at Spike who glared hard at her. Twilight sighed and turned back to Pinkie.

"So…you see, love is a complicated emotion," she said.

"But…I love _all_ my friends," Pinkie said.

"Yes, but there are two different kinds of love. There's the one you feel for family and friends, then there's the kind you feel for somebody else. For example…um…I…sort of…have this crush on Princess Celestia," Twilight said.

Pinkie raised an eyebrow to this, still confused on it. Slowly, she started to understand after using her Pinkie brain to try and establish what it could mean.

"Wait…so…when Rarity said I have a _huuuge_ crush on you, but you like Celestia, she actually meant _love _instead?" Pinkie asked.

For a third time, Twilight's eyes widened at this statement.

"Wait…you mentioned Rarity twice," she said. "What exactly happened at her shop the other day?"

"I can't tell…I Pinkie promised," Pinkie said.

Twilight sighed at this before putting a hoof on Pinkie's shoulder.

"Look…Pinkie…I love you, but as a friend. This feeling you have for me, you love me, but I sort of love Celestia," Twilight said.

Spike made a "pfft" noise from across the room, but Twilight ignored it. Pinkie stared into Twilight's eyes, Pinkie's own eyes all glowy and sparkly. After Twilight stared into them a bit more, she saw herself entranced. It only lasted a few seconds before she shook her head and got her hoof off Pinkie.

"Understand?" Twilight asked.

Pinkie stood there, still confused. She then sighed and bucked her hoof behind her in anger.

"Darn it! I _knew_ something was up that Pinkie Pie wouldn't like!" Pinkie exclaimed.

The thing she bucked was a stack of books. When she bucked it, it started to lean to the left, then the right, then back to the left, before falling over to the right. When it fell, it took all the books on the shelf with it. It knocked over another stack of books, with that stack doing the same to the shelf nearest it. Soon, all the stacks of books and all the shelves in the library were barren of books. The library floor was full of books…so much that there was no floor in sight. Twilight widened her eyelids for a fourth time before she looked over at Pinkie, who smiled nervously at her friend.

"Get out Pinkie," was all Twilight said.

Pinkie back-pedalled out of the library. Once she was out the door, Twilight slammed it in her face.

"Wow…rude!" Pinkie yelled at the door in front of her.

After she slammed the door, Twilight turned around to face Spike, who had his arms crossed in front of him.

"Really?" he asked.

"What?" Twilight asked.

"Was that really necessary?" he asked.

He began to pick up books while talking to Twilight. Twilight started to do the same, but used her horn instead.

"I had to let her down hard, otherwise she wouldn't've understood," Twilight reasoned.

Spike rolled his eyes at his friend before climbing a ladder to put a book away.

"I'm just saying, Twilight, this is Pinkie Pie, she doesn't usually take things the same as the other ponies," he said.

Twilight sighed before clearing her throat.

"Make a note Spike," she said.

This was followed by the dragon falling off the ladder into another pile of books. When he got up, he already had his quill and paper.

"Dear Princess Celestia, I come to you, not about what I've learned today, but about some advice. I have a friend who 'likes' another friend, but _my_ friend doesn't 'like' her that way and just sees her as a friend, and to make matters worse, _my_ friend likes a_no_ther friend entirely, but _my_ friend doesn't know how to let the friend who 'likes' her down without disappointing her and losing her friendship. Please help me. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle."

After this, Twilight smiled. Over with Spike, he started to write it down, but got confused.

"So, you have a friend who likes another friend but your friend doesn't like that friend, but your friend has another friend that she likes and she doesn't know how to let-down your other friend that likes her?" he asked.

Twilight examined the line a bit more before she nodded.

"That's right," she said.

"Right. Well, there's a problem. Quill's out of ink," he said.

Twilight sighed before walking away.

"Well, then I'll go get some ink. You stay here and work on this mess," she said.

With that, Twilight trotted out of the library. When the door closed, Spike sighed before writing down some things on the paper. After finishing, he set it down on a nearby table before getting to work on the books.

"You can come out now Pinkie," he said.

A nearby closet door opened and Pinkie fell out face first. She then fell flank-first forward. She landed _on_ her flank. Pinkie stared at Spike a bit before skipping over towards him.

"So, why did you lie to Twilight?" she asked.

Spike continued to pick up the books, waiting to send the letter once Twilight got back.

"Because she wouldn't have allowed me to send it otherwise," he said.

Pinkie stopped skipping and landed right in front of the letter.

"Dear Princess Celestia, I come to you, not about what I've learned today, but about some advice. I like you, but my friend, Pinkie, likes me like I like you. How do I let her down without disappointing her? Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle," she read aloud.

Pinkie raised her eyebrow and looked over at Spike.

"Why did you include our names?" she asked, legitimately confused.

"Because Celestia has known for a while that Twilight likes her, she's just been nice enough to keep it silent, much like Rarity," he said.

Now even _more_ confused, Pinkie squinted her eyes, trying to establish the situation via her Pinkie Pie brain. Spike noticed this and sighed.

"This way, she can reveal she doesn't like Twilight that way, and also, maybe, find out she likes you," Spike said.

Pinkie got up and smiled.

"Oh! Well, then don't send it!" she shouted.

It was now Spike's turn to be confused.

"But…I thought…didn't you…want Twilight to like you?" he asked.

"Yeah, but not at the expense of her _own_ sadness," Pinkie said.

Spike just looked at Pinkie, his mouth agape.

"Wow, you really _do_ like Twilight. Alright, I promise I won't send it," he said.

"Pinkie promise?" she asked.

Spike sighed before stating the promise.

"Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a cupcake in my eye," he said, sticking his claw in his eye.

This obviously hurt, so he retracted it to hold his eye in pain.

"Ow," he said.

"Good! Now, I'm off," she said.

When she reached the door via a few skips, and opened it, Twilight was seen on the other side. When she noticed Pinkie, Twilight dropped the jar of ink. She glared at the scene with squinting eyes.

"We're not actually out of ink, are we?" she asked.

Both Spike and Pinkie shook their heads furiously at this situation, also smiling. While Pinkie smiled…well…like Pinkie, Spike smiled nervously.

"Spike wrote a letter using actual names, did he?" Twilight asked.

Spike and Pinkie then nodded furiously while smiling their smiles.

"Spike Pinkie promised he wouldn't send it, to avoid disappointing me, did he?" Twilight asked.

For a second time, Spike and Pinkie nodded furiously, smiling their smiles along the way. Twilight sighed at this situation before trotting into the library. Pinkie moved out of the way to allow Twilight to trot over to read the letter.

"Dear Princess Celestia, I come to you, not about what I've learned today, but about some advice. I like you, but my friend, Pinkie, likes me like I like you. How do I let her down without disappointing her? Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle," she read aloud.

Twilight smiled at this before levitating it over to Spike.

"Send it off Spike," she said with a smile on her face.

"Whaaaa?" Spike and Pinkie asked at the same time.

"I realized something. Along the way to the store, I saw Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy training. When Rainbow tripped up, Fluttershy flew over to protect her. Fluttershy would never fly unless needed. Afterward, the two hugged as if it never happened. It made me realize that…maybe…Rarity was right?" she stated, finishing with a question.

Spike smiled at Twilight before firing the flames in his mouth.

"Noooo…!" Pinkie called loudly.

Just as Spike was about to send it via flame-mail, Pinkie caught in mid-way. Because of this, both the letter and Pinkie was sent to Celestia.

"Ummm…" Twilight said.

"That has never happened before," Spike said.

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"Cooooool," Pinkie Pie said.

After being flamed by Spike, both she and the letter were sent into the smoke. She could see the entire town and the Evergreen Forest from a bird's eye view. They both floated through the sky as smoke before reaching Princess Celestia's personal chambers.

When the letter appeared, Pinkie fell to the ground, the scroll in her hooves. She looked up at Celestia, who was confused by this situation. After a bit, she helped Pinkie up to her hooves.

"Pinkie Pie, what brings you…here?" Celestia asked, still a bit confused.

"Ooh, your majesty," Pinkie said, bowing to her.

This causes Celestia to laugh a bit before levitating the scroll up to the side of her head.

"Pinkie Pie, you don't need to bow, we're friends," she said.

Pinkie got up on her hooves, but as Celestia unraveled the scroll, she dove and clutched it in her grasp, holding it tight.

"Umm…Pinkie…did you try and do that when Spike sent that scroll?" Celestia asked.

Pinkie looked up at the princess, smiling a nervous smile along the way.

"Um…yes?" she asked.

Celestia laughed a bit before levitating the scroll up. When Pinkie didn't let go, Celestia shook it a bit before she fell on her flank to the floor. The scroll opened, but when Flank tried to jump up and grab it, she couldn't reach. She made noises of discontent with every hop she tried to do.

"Dear Princess Celestia, I come to you, not about what I've learned today, but about some advice. I like you, but my friend, Pinkie, likes me like I like you. How do I let her down without disappointing her? Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle," Celestia read aloud.

After it was read, Pinkie hit her flank on the floor in disappointment.

"Oooh," she said, defeated.

"I figured it was something like this. Pinkie Pie, how would you like to write me a note?" Celestia asked.

Pinkie got up, excited. She shrieked in happiness before rushing over to her table. She grabbed a quill and jumped in place with her hoof near the paper on the table. This situation caused Celestia to laugh.

"Dear My Faithful Student, Twilight Sparkle," she began.

Pinkie quickly wrote what the princess said, wasting little effort.

"I send you this note, not as your teacher, not as a princess, but as a friend. I respect your feelings for me, but, as you probably already know, I do not match these feelings. I love you too much as my student to take it any further. But as for your friend Pinkie…well…" Celestia said.

She paused a bit before thinking. Her horn started to glow a bit before her, Pinkie, and the scroll she was writing on disappeared in a poof of smoke.

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They reappeared at the library. Celestia floated in the air while Pinkie fell on her flank in some books, still writing from before. She looked up and noticed Twilight opening Spike's mouth wide, trying to look inside. They all glanced at each other a few times before Twilight bowed, causing Spike to fall to his back in dizziness.

"Why do you all bow to me? You're my friends," Celestia said.

Twilight rose up, laughing nervously a bit. After everybody was situated, Celestia cleared her throat.

"Twilight, I don't say this as a teacher, but as a friend. I don't like you like you like me…but I think you knew that already," she said.

Twilight nodded at her teacher.

"I knew you didn't, but thinking that you did made me happy," she said.

Celestia smiled at her student before floating Pinkie out of the pile of books and over next to Twilight.

"As for your friend Pinkie…" Celestia said.

Pinkie looked at Twilight, and Twilight looked at Pinkie. Again, Twilight found herself affected by her sparkly eyes. They stared at each other for a bit longer before Celestia disappeared in a white light.

Everybody in the room glanced over at where Celestia once stood.

"Excuse me ladies, I'll leave you alone," Spike said.

He quickly rushed out of the room into the kitchen. After their manes rested due to Spike's force winds, the two shared a laughed before looking at each other.

"So…" Pinkie said. "My Pinkie brain is still confused on this whole feelings thing."

Twilight chuckled at this before responding.

"I'm sure I can help you out with that much Pinkie," she said.

"Ooh! I'm late for my Surprise Party of All Parties to Ever Exist!" Pinkie exclaimed.

Pinkie then sped off the scene. She then quickly came back, placing a kiss on the cheek of Twilight, before speeding off again. She then began to blush madly as Spike walked back in. He had a plate of cupcakes in his hands.

"Well, that was interesting," he said.

Twilight tried to hide her blush with her hooves. Pinkie then ran back in and grabbed two cupcakes. She ate one of them whole. She shoved the other one in Spike's right eye.

"Never break a Pinkie promise!" Pinkie shouted.

She then, once again, ran off-screen. Twilight laughed a bit as Spike hit the ground in cupcake agony.

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**A/N – So yeah, it continues. My My Little Pony AU is going to be like this for a bit, revealing the couples, before potentially going off on other things.**

**In other AU and one-shot news, I am going to update my Avatar AU soon.**

**Besides that, live strong, Bronies unite, and remember…never break a Pinkie promise! Lest you want a cupcake in your eye.**


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